did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
