Midget sex pt 2 tonight
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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