i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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