My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
