I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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