My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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