yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
