yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
