I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
