"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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