So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i think i just lost a toe
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize