After last night, I could never be a politician.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
