He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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