You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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