I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
