if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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