you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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