Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
