You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
