He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize