Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I pour the whiskey from now on
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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