i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
