i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize