you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
