do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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