She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
