Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
