It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
