508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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