im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
