I got chris browned last night
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
