My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize