roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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