yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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