We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I look excited, but its just a facade.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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