Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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