I cannot find my penis.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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