Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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