she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
