I heard we made out
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
