u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
