I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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