I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
