Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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