At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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