smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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