there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
