god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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