Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
