K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Someone came in the potted fern
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
