I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
