if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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