We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
