Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize