How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
is wine microwaveable?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
