oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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