Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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