I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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