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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you

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• (212): View more from New York

  he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.

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• (650): View more from California

  after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  Was who let the dogs out playing?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Ya. You started barking when it ended

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???

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• (360): View more from Washington

  No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules

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• (408): View more from California

  I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.

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